Sunday, December 30, 2012

January 2 chat, symposium review

It's Sunday night, December 30. The presentations ended at 1:00 this afternoon. We've moved the ALL Unschooling symposium to one small room of the three we had. ("Small" meaning 1032 sq feet.) Six or seven younger kids are watching a movie on a laptop. One is painting. Nine people are playing Five Crowns at a big round table. At another table, seven or eight others are playing Dominion.

I'm exhausted.

By Wednesday, January 2, I should be sufficiently recovered to share some highlights.

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

No chat December 26

No chat December 26. Sorry. I meant to say so sooner.

Kirby will be here any minute, Joyce and Carl are here, the ALL Unschooling Symposium starts tomorrow..... I can't chat right now. :-)

Sorry I didn't say so sooner. I meant to.

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Sleep, peaceful homes, naps...

December 19 we'll chat about sleep, naps, family bed and growing up to use alarm clocks to get to work.

In the book, the pages are 156-161.

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Video games, courtesy, family benefits

On December 12, 2012, we will consider pages 151-155 in The Big Book of Unschooling are about video games. The idea that learning comes from games is well known to any unschoolers who have ever really looked at it, though, so....

Let's talk about the benefits to families from game play. And as to learning, let's look at courtesy and etiquette, and at responsibility (page 155 in the book).

There's not a straight webpage link. If you want to read more than those pages in the book, this on Minecraft might be fun for you. It's about Minecraft bringing families closer together: http://sandradodd.com/videogames/minecraft

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Books, book worship, book glory

December 5 chat on Books (pages 148-149 in The Big Book), and book worship, and good uses for books, and warnings about books for new unschoolers and book, bookety book book everything.

SandraDodd.com/books

This is the book that doesn't end
Yes it goes on and on my friend...

(in case you don't know the tune, click here.)

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Transcript of Movie Chat

Movie chat, still being formatted, but it's in and readable.

(If you read it after Thrsday night, it will probably be all fixed up.)

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Learning and connections and MOVIES

November 28, we'll talk about movies and unschooling. 

What have you (your own self) learned from movies, about history or geography?  Human nature?  Art, music or dance?  

A hundred years ago, people began to take novels seriously as a medium through which to view everyday life and thought, or rarified special life and thought.   Movies aren't new anymore.  

In the late 19th century, there was a movie theater in Buffalo, New York which was described this eay a few decades later: "There were seats for about 90 persons and the admission was three cents. Feeble, flickering films of travel scenes were the usual fare."  It only lasted two years.

Movies are going through another slump now, because people can watch movies at home so easily.  They've gone from being like expensive non-circulating books in libraries, to being as available as paperback books (VHS and DVD) to being like e-books now (downloadable, streaming, on-demand).  

There are psychologists and philosophers who discuss movies in terms ways can be used in therapy and spiritual growth.  

Try to bring a story.

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

TV chat, November 21

146-143 in The Big Book and some or all of this: http://sandradodd.com/tv

Let's talk about TV, cartoons, maybe YouTube, but not movies!

Consider exploring some of the online information on the history of TV between now and Wednesday. Here are a few good ones, but there are many more:

MBC: Museum of Broadcast Communications

The Paley Center for Media

Teletronic: The Television History Site

November 28, we'll talk about movies and unschooling.

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Typical days chat, November 14

There is a collection of typical days on my site, here: http://sandradodd.com/typical The part of the book about this is just the summaries that are on that page.

"Typical" is often not photographable. http://justaddlightandstir.blogspot.com/2012/11/unphotographable.html

THANKS, Marta for reminding me to send these announcements.

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Humor/Humour, November 7, 2012

What is the opposite of humor?

What are the elements of humor?

What would cause someone to describe another person as "humorless"?

What's the opposite of "lighten up"?

Page 128, Big Book of Unschooling Second-best resource, http://sandradodd.com/humor

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Monday, October 29, 2012

The Week of Confusion

Marta has pointed out that musch of Europe has gone to daylight savings time this week. The U.S. has not, yet. If you want to set a timer on your own phone/computer/tablet/something, maybe set it to noon mountain time. We change next weekend here, so it might only be disjoint for a week.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

October 31, Games and Playing

Playing, and games. Playing can be done without a game.

Big Book, pages 126-127

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Wednesday chat reminder

October 24

The topic will be Experiences, and Building an Unschooling Nest. In the book, pages 123-124. For people without a book, peace/newview and sandradodd.com/nest.

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

October 24, next chat

The next chat I can attend will be October 24. The topic will be Exeriences, and Building an Unschooling Nest. In the book, pages 123-124. For people without a book, peace/newview and sandradodd.com/nest.

Anyone wanting to go the chat room on the 17th (or any other time), please feel free to invite some other people and use the room.

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Strewing! October 10

Chat topic for October 10: Strewing

In the book page 120 webpage http://sandradodd.com/strewing

No chat on October 17. I'll be at the Florida Unschooling Conference listening to Meredith Novak speak!



If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Substance, October 3

Pages 117-119 of The Big Book of Unschooling. What is the subtance of learning? of unschooling? What makes something "substantial"?

We have a compost pile, and it's kind of amazing how it seems at first that the food and leaves and sticks and banana peels and dog poop will never do anything but sit there looking like garbage, but when I stop watching it, it turns to solid black, rich dirt! I can't find any parts of the elements of which it's made. It's kind of like that with my kids. It took me a few years to quit watching them and trust that it would compost.

It did.


SandraDodd.com/substance


If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

CONNECTIONS: Today's chat

http://chatnotes-unschooling.blogspot.com/2012/09/september-26-connections.html

On my site, since I last wrote, are three new things on connections. Two at the bottom of this http://sandradodd.com/connections/example.html
and one halfway down here: http://sandradodd.com/connections/

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

September 26, CONNECTIONS

Connections, pages 113-116 (or if you don't have a copy of The Big Book of Unschooling, read at SandraDodd.com/connections

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Chat on methodology, September 19

Pages 109-112 in The Big Book of Unschooling cover Methods (and what sort of method of homeschooling Unschooling is), the curriculum of unschooling, and learning-not-teaching.

This stuff is easy for those who have been reading and writing about unschooling for a while. Because it's not easy for others to understand, if you're new it will help you to be in the chat, and if you're not new, you can practice answering questions clearly on the spot!

Clarifying thought, it turns, out, is what unschooling is all about, for the parents.
When the parents are clear, then learning can flow around them.



If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Mathematics (don't be afraid) September 12

I just got an e-mail that said, "I'll be able to attend the chat—it'll be really interesting for me, because numbers aren't my "thing". ;)"

That's fine, because the last thing I wrote in last week's chat was "Let's talk about games and logic and patterns"

Wednesday, September 12, regular time and place.

In the book the math section is pages 105-108. You might read at http://sandradodd.com/math, and maybe at the multiple intelligences page (sandradodd.com/intelligences) or just think (or ask friends or neighbors, spouse or children), about things that are mathematical that don't involve numbers. Think "visual" (kind of the same as thinking visually, perhaps, or not). If come up with something good, please try to find a link or a photo to bring to the chat. We can collect some examples. :-)

(If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password).

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Shakespeare. Anything fun? Anything easy? Worth looking into? What?

In The Big Book of Unschooling, pages 102-104 or on the website: http://sandradodd.com/strew/shakespeare

http://sandradodd.com/shakespeare/ (The part near Lawrence Fishburne is what's in the book on page 102 anyway.)

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Language Arts chat, August 29

Pages 98-101, The Big Book of Unschooling.

If you don't have a copy, you should get one! :-)

If you have a copy, read pages 98-101.

If you don't have a copy, read this: http://sandradodd.com/language/

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Wednesday chat the 22nd (not 25th; doh)

From the last chat, on the 15th:
Sandra Dodd: Next week, writing.
Sandra Dodd: People don't need to know how to read to be involved in some of the things that lead to writing.
Sandra Dodd: Verbal and physical both.
There's a small writing section in the book, and there's this: sandradodd.com/writing

One way to think about writing, too, is for us to spend some of the time sharing about our own writing ability. What has helped outside of school? What makes writing better? How have you used writing lately, as a parent?

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Reading Chat, August 15

Reading is a big topic and a scary one. Attempting to teach a child to read can do damage. Providing an environment in which a child can learn to read naturally can work a miracle.

Below is something Colleen Prieto wrote a while back, and you might also want to read at sandradodd.com/reading, sometime before the chat, though the real text is pages 86-93 of The Big Book of Unschooling. If you click that "Big Book" link, you will see a book cover made by Holly Dodd, who learned to read on her own, and a photo of Robbie Prieto, who learned to read on his own, reading The Big Book of Unschooling. How's that for full circle?


[Colleen, on Always Learning, in response to someone who was insisting that labels given in school could be easily overcome as long as someone was “morally grounded” and “forgiving” as an adult… ]
The way I think of that, it doesn't have to do with being "morally grounded" and "forgiving."

My husband grew up going to Catholic school, as the public schools in the inner city where he lived were (in his parents' opinion) too dangerous. The "instruction" he was given in reading was, from his accounts, quite detrimental instead of helpful. The kids in his school were drilled, tested, and forced to follow a phonics program. Phonics never made much sense to him (allowed to learn to read on his own, I'm guessing he'd read like my 8 year old does - from patterns and memorization and not using phonics) and he struggled with reading from the start. He ended up receiving extra 1:1 "remedial reading support instruction" (his school's version of a label was to put you in the "remedial" category). To this day he'll tell me "I really hate reading" and he says it often takes him 2 or 3 times reading through something before he really gets the meaning, which he also credits back to his schools' emphasis on phonics instead of comprehension and understanding.

Contrast this to my son's experiences with reading - where he grew up surrounded by print, words, books, computers, games, etc. He discovered words and reading on his own, based on his own desires and interests. He's 8 now and reads fluently - however he also doesn't hesitate to ask for help when he finds a word he doesn't know. And when he asks for help, my husband and I don't tell him "sound it out" - we tell him what the word is and he usually responds "oh - cool!" and then bounces on to finish whatever he's reading through. There has been no shame, no drills, no tests, and no instruction involved in his relationship with words – and so his relationship is a good one!

I am fairly certain that no amount of forgiveness or ambition could overcome my husband's experience with "reading instruction" and what that experience has done with his interest in and his ability to interact with printed words. His ambition led him to a college degree in engineering and a career that he enjoys - but it did not lead him to a point where all those phonics drills, remedial classes, etc. no longer affect him. If he forgave the teachers and the system for being what they were, would he become a happier, better reader? Nope. But our son benefits from his dad's school experiences, since "I don't want my son to learn to read the way I did!" gives yet more support to our decision to unschool :-)

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Art and Unschooling chat, August 8, 2012

Art... what IS art?

Think of tie-ins between art and history, politics, music, materials, relationships, manufacturing, shipping, sales, food, hair, clothing, automotive sales, manufacture, presentation, restoration, paint jobs, furniture, appliances, dishes, carpet/curtains/upholstery, beds and bedding.... Pages 84, 85 Big Book of Unschooling!

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Music Chat, August 1 2012

We're back to going through The Big Book of Unschooling and we're up to page 83, Music, for August 1.

Last week's chat was the first for a couple of months (I was in Europe) but now I'm home. The transcript of last week's chat is here: Wonder

Here's some music I saw in Lyon, France. I used a photo of the band for Just Add Light the other day: Get Witnesses

I guess it's kind of acoustic street punk ska something. Kids were dancing behind them, too.

Here was another recent music-related Just Add Light: Too much of "too much"

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Reminder: Wonder, July 25

http://chatnotes-unschooling.blogspot.com/2012/07/july-25-chat-on-wonder.html

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

July 25 Chat on Wonder

I have returned!

The topic of this Wednesday's unschooling chat will be Wonder.
http://sandradodd.com/wonder has some inspiring reminders, and if you have time to read it, there is a new link there to an very brief article on awe.

Noon my time, 7:00 p.m. in England, various other times in other places, though we should all try to be there for the same two hours. :-)


UNRELATED TO AWE: Tuesday is Learn Nothing Day.

The link from Deb came in a small discussion of this photo, which I had posted in the wrong place. (Link to that below.)

http://www.facebook.com/groups/303347574750/permalink/10150973603564751/




If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Wednesday, minor correction

I mixed up archery and Beaver Scouts. It's easy to do.

Still, some chat (for you, if you want) and some fish and chips (for me, and maybe for some of you).

Wednesday, a special deal before I start travelling again (to The Netherlands Wednesday the 27th, and back to the UK July 4 which is also a Wednesday).

GRATUITOUS PHOTO:

Little red Corvette, Arizona plates, on a children's ride at a lakeside park in Switzerland.

Monday, June 18, 2012

June 20 chat

June 20... Is unschooling easier in the summer? Harder? How unfair is it for Schuyler to have moved to Australia and get two winters in a row that way!?


If things continue as they are this week, I should be able to be in the chatroom Wednesday. Noon at my house is 7:00 UK. Julie will deliver Adam to Beaver Scouts and bring fish'n'chips back for them to watch the England/Ukaraine game. My part in all that is just to stay out of the way and help eat the fish. I can do that.

I have some thing on my blog to read if you're bored. http://sandradodd.blogspot.com If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Science, May 9 LAST CHAT FOR A WHILE

Science in general, science in specific, what it is, where it is...

Page 82 of The Big Book of Unschooling or at http://sandradodd.com/science/

The chatroom can be used anytime by any group of unschoolers who want to go in there. And if people want to keep the Wednesday routine, please feel free to show up there! I won't be there for a while, though, because...

I'll be in airplanes every Wednesday for a month straight.

  • Albuquerque to Boston May 16
  • Boston to Portland May 23
  • Portland to Albuquerque May 30
  • London to Geneva June 6
Then the flying slows down, but the being busy doesn't.
  • camping with unschoolers in France June 13
  • being in or driving to the Yarrow Valley in Scotland June 20
Back to planes:
  • London to Amsterdam June 27
  • Amsterdam to London July 4
So after this week my next potentially free Wednesday is July 11. I didn't realize that until I started making this list! But seriously, I'll be in England. I would rather be at a fish and chips shop than sitting in front of the computer. I'm sure you understand.

July 18, a Wednesday, I'm returning to Albuquerque.
July 25 I'll try to be in the chatroom, on time, and without a topic from the book. We can talk then about chats, and the summer, and what people have been doing.

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Geography, chat, Wednesday May 2

Geography--the whole idea of it. What is it, what's it good for, if you're not going to "teach" it, can't you at least be aware of it so that you can balance what you're presenting, discussing and considering in high-level, cool and thoughtful ways? (But don't tell your kids. Be casual.)

Those who went to school often think they "know geography" but it might be lists of countries, and maps, in their heads. "Geo" does mean world," and "graph" does mean writing or drawing or maps. What else ties in with geography in the real world?

Bring a story or an idea.

Geography is featured on page 81 of The Big Book of Unschooling or at http://sandradodd.com/geography/
If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Monday, April 23, 2012

History Chat, April 25, 2012

History! Having discussed last week that it's good not to think much of "subject areas," now let's really look at nothing but history. Be thinking of what you can bring to the chat that is purely history, and nothing else. Let's not get off topic.

Page 80 in the book; here on the webpage: http://sandradodd.com/history/
That page is old, and kind of old-timey, for a webpage.
If you find bad links, please let me know. If you know of other, better links, please let me know that too. Maybe on Wednesday the 25th during the chat!

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

"Subjects" Chat on April 18, 2012!

Page 79 of The Big Book of Unschooling has very little text, so I'm going to quote the whole thing. Anyone who wants to study this time can listen to the song that's quoted there. If you listen to Herman's Hermits, you'll be short one verse.
Subjects

Kirby was five and not going to go to school that year when I decided to keep the whole idea of a structured curriculum divided into subjects secret from him for a while. So we carefully and purposefully avoided using these terms: science, history, math.
He was too young for us to need to avoid terms such as "social studies" (which doesn't come up outside of school anyway) or "grammar," but I was prepared to rethink my list of terms to avoid as he got older, if he continued to stay home.

By the time his brother and sister were unschooling, some of those "names of subjects" (in school parlance) had been discovered on TV shows about school, or in jokes or songs. Don't know much about history; don't know much biology… By then, though, I was ready with confident answers, and we were all sure natural learning could work.

If you can avoid using school terminology, it will be helpful in many different ways that you will figure out if you don't already see them.

SandraDodd.com/subjects

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Stages of development

Wednesday April 11 chat

You can't expect children to understand what adults understand, but that's no reason not to treat them respectfully.

The Big Book of Unschooling has sections on Abram Maslow and Jean Piaget (pages 76-78).  Another theorist to consider is Erik Erikson (here's a chart of his stages), but for me those are depressing and school-bound.  I think the others might be better for unschooling, though none of them need to be "the one and only one."  They're ideas among ideas

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

April 4 chat on giftedness and intelligences

Giftedness and the idea of "intelligence"  (pages 71-75)

Schools measure math and reading and call it "IQ" but there are other things people can be quick or slow about.   What combinations of "intelligences" might be good for what?  How does it help for unschoolers to know these things?

Check for how your time zone matches daylight savings time in the Mountain Time zone, and try to show up when it's noon at my house.  

If you're reading this by e-mail and you need a path to the chatroom, click on the title to get to the blog, which has a tab up to the left with the link and password.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Chat on March 28, "Special Ed"

March 28
Special Education, seeing children directly (pages 68-70)
How might unschooling work differently with "special-needs" children?

These links aren't the same text as the book. Reading those pages in the book would be best, but they link to
http://sandradodd.com/specialunschooling
http://sandradodd.com/unschool/difference
http://sandradodd.com/words/without


April 4
Giftedness and Howard Gardner's Intelligences (71-75)

Monday, March 19, 2012

March 21 chat, toddlers and young children

March 21,
Toddlers and young children (pages 63-67)


Toddlers page

The title art was sent by Tammy in Australia (greenjellysnakes) in April, 2009. Her three-year-old helped.



March 28
Special Education, seeing children directly (pages 68-70)

April 4
Giftedness and Howard Gardner's Intelligences (71-75)

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Chat time earlier (for some)

I'm sorry I forgot to mention last week that we went to daylight savings time here. The chat seemed to have started an hour early (well, it DID, in some time zones).

So if you're using an online clock translator of some sort, please note the daylight savings time problem. Noon in New Mexico has gone back an hour. Arizona and Europe, Hawaii... I don't know who else needs to note this.

March 21,
Toddlers and young children (pages 63-67 of The Big Book of Unschooling)


The regular notice should go out tomorrow/Monday, still.

Monday, March 12, 2012

March 14 chat on communicating with infants

March 14
infants (pages 57-62, being partners with babies, communicating with them)
http://sandradodd.com/babies/


March 21,
Toddlers and young children (pages 63-67)

March 28
Special Education, seeing children directly (pages 68-70)

April 4
Giftedness and Howard Gardner's Intelligences (71-75)

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

March 7, general chat and books about unschooling

I forgot to prepare for a chat today, or to announce one, so let's do it, but more generally. There's a new book about unschooling. And we can talk about general questions and issues.

If you have this by e-mail, you can get to the chatroom by clicking on the title, which should be a link to the blog, and has the link and password.

Next week, March 14
infants (pages 57-62, being partners with babies, communicating with them)

March 21,
Toddlers and young children (pages 63-67)

March 28
Special Education, seeing children directly (pages 68-70)

April 4
Giftedness and Howard Gardner's Intelligences (71-75)

Monday, February 27, 2012

February 29, Leapday chat!

"Have to," self-regulation, and self-control
Pages 53-56, The Big Book of Unschooling

If you're reading e-mail and need a trail to get to the chat, click on the title.
If you're reading at the blog, when-where-and-how is up above.

Monday, February 20, 2012

February 22, 2012 chat: CHOICES

If you're reading this by e-mail, and you click on the title, it should take you to the blog where links are to the chatroom and the password.
February 22 chat on Choices,
Page 51 of The Big Book of Unschooling

Choices

In May, 1987, when Kirby was a baby, I was at an SCA/medievalist campout. A friend was being knighted the next day, and I went to his vigil. He told me that he was worried about his duty, as a knight, to set a good example, and that his camp wasn't very nice, nor very authentic to period. I told him it had taken years for our camp to become more elaborate and more period, and that he could improve his gradually, too.

We talked about replacing dishes, or benches, or lanterns, as better ones were found, and not try to replace everything at once.

I suggested that when he got a new tent, if his choices were nylon or canvas, to get canvas; if the choice was brown or orange, choose brown. "Always make the more medieval choice," I said.
I went back to my own camp and shared this idea with Keith and my friend Jeff (who were in that context Gunwaldt and Artan), and it was passed on to all my husband's squires and my students from then on.

Meanwhile, back in my regular life, I had two more children and as they started making their own choices, the idea of making the better choice was a good tool. I added to that the idea that until one has thought of at least two options, it's impossible to make a choice.

The concept has been helpful with unschooling and with mindful parenting, and first came forth in that area of thought in August 2002, at the HSC conference when Richard Prystowsky and I did a joint talk called "Peaceful Parenting." I recommended that people think of two things to do and make the more peaceful choice.

Although this tool is useful in the moment, its best use is for incremental change. If my best choice used to be to yell or hit, and I yelled, then the next time I thought about it, hitting wasn't even going to begin to be one of my choices. Would I yell or wait? Or yell or speak quietly? Yell or leave the room? Maybe leave out the yelling, and choose between "speak quietly" or "breathe before speaking."

Some critics of this advice say children will never decide if they have unlimited choices. No one has "unlimited choices," but compared to children in traditional culture, a parent has a huge range of choices. More often than not they don't choose, because they don't even stop to think. They just react in familiar ways, thoughtlessly. They do the first thing they think of and say "I had to do that, because…" and they fill in the blank with something justifiable. It's not mindful parenting.

A person can choose to have choices. A person can choose not to choose; still a choice, but they think of it as "no choice" or "have to."

SandraDodd.com/choices

Sunday, February 12, 2012